The universe of Starcraft has a very flexible system of allegiance. James Raynor, in particular, has had a tumultuous past when it comes to loyalty. First he gets the shaft from the Confederacy of Man, then he joins the Sons of Korhol and ends up allied with his old nemesis, the late Edmund Duke. Later he watched his main squeeze Kerrigan get engulfed by the Zerg when she gets betrayed by Mengsk on Tarsonis. Then, long after that, somehow James finds himself allied with both Mengsk and Kerrigan to fight the UED and he gets another familiar taste of sweet, sweet betrayal at the hands of Kerrigan.
And as we approach the impending release of Starcraft II one question screams out to be answered. Who is going to stab poor old Jimmy in the back this time?
First we have to take a look at Jimmy's current situation. He is in command of the Hyperion, likes to hit the sauce and has a permanent sour puss on his face. He also may or may not have dedicated his entire life to shooting his ex-girlfriend. As a result his crew is getting a little persnickety, and there are whiffs of mutiny in the air.
Suspect #1 Tychus Findlay
This is Raynor's old smoking buddy from the Guild Wars. He has had a few run ins with the law and has been convicted of crimes including, but not limited to, murder, piracy, desertion and insider trading. Evidently Tychus' parents didn't seem to love him very much so he may have been nurtured to betray from a very young age. Watch for the heart-wrenching flashback that fleshes this out after the 5th mission. Having Mr. Findlay as one of his crew makes about as much sense as Barack Obama making Charles Manson his Secretary of Health and Human Services. As an insurance plan Raynor may want to consider swapping out Tychus' stimpaks with moderate levels of Prozac.
Suspect #2 Matt Horner
This guy's name sounds like he plays in the NFL. But maybe it his pair of mammothian shoulder pads that are making me think that. Ol' Horndog is second in command of the Hyperion and he seems like the sort of guy that does things by the book. He is probably destined to be a goody-two-shoes foil for Tychus Findlay's character. It could very well be that he will be the angel on Raynor's right shoulder and Tychus will be the devil on his left. For example, here are some lines of dialogue from the third mission that an inside source has fed me.
Matt Horner: That orphanage is about to be assailed by that disreputable looking band of Zerg. Surely we must intercede and save them!
Tychus Findlay: Hey we aren't done this poker game yet! What's an orphan ever done for you anyways? Lets just see how this plays out first...
The fact that Horner seems to be so incredibly good is a very bad indicator of his long term faithfulness. Surely this is just a cunning ruse that will entrap Raynor when he is at his most vulnerable. He also stands the most to gain from Raynor's fall. He will have control of the Hyperion all to himself and finally be able to retrofit it with bitch'n spoiler.
#3 Swan Colman? Engineer Guy
This monstrous individual is James Raynor's Geordi La Forge. This guy is much more hardcore than Geordi though, he sees his banana clip and raises him one abomination of a robot arm. I am very concerned about this shady looking fellow. Aside from everything else do you really want a guy running your ship who has a history of getting his limbs ripped off due to negligence? His position as chief engineer, in addition to his cyborg nature, gives him a lot of opportunity for sabotage and mechanical mutiny. Jimmy will have to watch his back while this American Chopper reject is lurking around the bowls of the Hyperion. And just to be safe, politely decline all offered handshakes.
#4 The Ship's Computer Lady
Oh God! What is that freaky thing! Oh.. it's relaying me pertinent information.. It looks like someone tore the face off a mannequin and glued it to a bowling ball. Surely you don't require much convincing about the risk of trusting this entity. History has countless examples of computers rebelling against humanity; The 1804 Cotton Gin Rebellion, Terminator 1-4, The Matrix, and of course the devastating pandemic of Y2K. From all appearances she is the only female on the Hyperion. You probably don't want the artificial intelligence with wildly fluctuating hormone levels to be in charge of life support. Jimmy, just make sure you have a full stock of EMP Shockwave Grenades.
#5 Zeratul
Lastly we take a look at Zeratul, satanic champion of the Protoss. Gee, I wonder why Jimmy has to worry about this demon? Well for starters this assassin has been personally responsible for the death of thousands. The most infamous tale of murder might be the annihilation of dozens of helpless, lovable cerebrates. He may have even hunted them to extinction, just so he could have one more rug. One also has to take into account his propensity for betraying his own kind. First of all he betrays and murders the noble Judicator Aldaris for opposing Kerrigan's plans, next he smothers the venerable Raszagal when her usefulness ran out. In addition to his well documented psychotic nature, his powers of stealth and deception, you have to look at the plain fact that he is of a different race. Do you think Jimmy and his new pet zergling 'Nom Nom' might have some conflict down the line? Of course they will. And besides, the Terran campaign will be pretty boring if you never get to fight Protoss. Jimmy, all I'm going to say is to make sure you keep 50 energy in your comsat station, just in case.
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